I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
