Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
