she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
