it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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