He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
