White coat. Heels.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
