You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it wasn't lemon gatorade
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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