The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize