shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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