to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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