My nipple is on Facebook.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
