you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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