we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
