how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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