i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
