i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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