I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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