Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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