your parents love me but you hate me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
