I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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