she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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