Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
