$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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