broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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