dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
