They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
