You work out of a Hotel?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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