ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So apparently I’m into choking now
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
