capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
