She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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