we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
