i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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