no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
