just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
