I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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