During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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