Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
