..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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