dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
