I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We have so much sex to catch up on
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
