I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
