remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
