You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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