I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
