ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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