i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
