She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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