I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
