sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
and eventually we just all took our pants off
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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