Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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