Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
