yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
