Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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