Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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