No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
