He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
