I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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