You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
