I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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