She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
