I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
