dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
