Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize