I should be sponsored by Trojan
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
