"it" just moved
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
