TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
