next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize