She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize