Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize