So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
