Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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