sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
