its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
