I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
