Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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