im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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