Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My feet surprised me
Randomize
