The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
