i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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