found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
