we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
